Monday, January 12, 2009

Please pray!

Please help us if Any one reads this please pray for us! We are so so behind in all are bills and we just need to make it through until we get our tax return!! I am so scared with five kids and all. Its so cold right now it will be hard with no home!! Please pray for us!!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Goodbye 2008 Hello 2009!

Soyan's Angel Bear
Sonya Snow Flake
Sonya Stocking
Sonya's Angel
Logan Daddy and Bryan Looking at the tree
Sonya's First Christmas Orenament
Logan and Papa Lighting a candle
Sonya's Angel Bell
Logan sitting Up for the first time by himself

I sit here another year behind me and fell so lost still. I want my daughter I really really want her so badly. You think things will get better but they don't you just learn how to live with it and deal with it and hide it better! Why couldn't I just hold her once tell her I love her. She is so much apart of me.

Oh having another baby will help you Melissa.Yeah it helped it helped very one forget about my daughter! Helped no one want to talk about her anymore (like they wanted to any way!). Have Logan didn't help at all don't get me wrong I Love him so so much and he is every thing to me Everything but having him made me feel worse. I look at my beautiful son and think Sonya should be here with him. I always wonder if he looks any thing like her I some times hold him and imagen I am holding her and cry the most heart raching cry I every have. I hate it I dont want to scare him and never have but what if I do one day. I watch him and wonder if Sonya would be any thing like he is?

I miss her so so badly.