Random things that come from my mind

We are doing well for the most part.We have a great house. Our bills are paid. We have food.We have each other so I we are ok. I have been thinking about Sonya lot.Some times I feel bad when I go for a time with out sitting down and doing something to remember her. Logan takes so much of my time. He is so so needed it takes every ounce of strength that I have to deal with him and take care of him. I miss her so so much and now comes March she would have been 3 now she would have been born on the 17th and we would be having a party. But there will be no party at lest not to celebrate her life now as she turns 3 there maybe a visit and balloon release to celebrate the life she had and how much we love and miss her. I really really wish I could hold her and read her stories and just love her.

Max is officially registered with the Akc! It went through today! I don't know why I am so happy but I am!!

He is doing well after is days of rest the vet said he could start doing more but not to let him jump or climb to many stairs. He is getting more out going and independent and definite!! He will now try to make me chase him when we are out side I have so far refrained from it but sometimes really want to! He chased the bus yesterday! I then decided it was time to keep him on a leash unless in out fenced in back yard! I could not believe it! He is chewing more and now he has finely realized hey food is good and I want that so know he walks around snuffing every thing to see if he can eat it!

He is so so cute and sweet. I could not even think of my life with out him. I love him so so much. How can you love someone so much that you have just met i mean you have 9 months with your baby before they are born to bond how can I be bonded to this little guy so fast? I don't know but I am People can laugh and call me crazy but he is my baby. I would be crushed if anything ever happened to him. People do not understand Hey I didn't understand I could not think of why some one would treat a dog like a baby but I never had the love I do for him. Like I said as soon as I saw him I wanted him As soon as she brought him out he was mine. My husband wanted another one that she had that already had 2nd shots (to save money) that she was trying to push on me(because he was more socialized then Max she thought he would be better with kids and not so shy) but I said no I want this one and didn't put him down until we had to leave. He was so scared and the other puppy's would readily give you kiss's he would not and just snuffed at me and pressed his nose to my chin and nothing more. Carl didn't like that he wanted a happy puppy but when I handed him to him he melted and wanted to work for Max's trust I think its so much better for me to prove that I will love him and care for him and win his trust rather then him trusting every one Like children he dose not know who is good and bad why would I want him to go up to just any one that could kick him?

Well I don't want him to stress and bite I do want him to be cautious and careful. He now gives me kiss's all the time but will not give people he dose not know kiss's. He likes to go up to people and look at them but he rarely lets them touch him at first he will get close until they come to close with a hand and then he will run and hide behind mom. He is getting a trim today and I will be right there with him because I know he will be so scared and if mommy left he wouldn't understand. I know I am suppose ti get him use to new things but would you just leave your scared toddler in day care with out getting the use to it first? No I know I would not I am a stay at home mom and I would never just leave them places or making them go to new people with out comforting them and making sure they know they are safe and and I would come back for them. Could you see a 13 week old puppy you give him to the groomer he has never met and then you leave him could you imagine what he would be thinking how worried he would be that you will never come back. How scared he would be with some one coming at him with clippers that make a funny noise and no one he new was there to tell him it was oK? You all probably do knowing how awesome the people on this site are to there baby's and the baby's they rescue you probably know all to well how they would feel if you just left them.

He is so great I don't care that he is shy because he is like me I am a person who has a hard time meeting new people and we fit together like any mother and child he knows when I need him to comfort me and he comes to me with hugs and kiss's with the look telling me its ok mom. He may annoy the heck out of me like any child by pulling my pant legs eating things he is not suppose to or jumping and fight with the baby but I would not give my child up for driving me batty which they do on a daily basis so how can people do this to some one that totally depends on them like a child?

Oh I want a cute Puppy then instead of going and getting a breed that would stay small and works best for there family the go out and get a cute little lab! Well in the next few months that Lab is going to get big real big eat a lot chew on everything and really need a firm but genital hand to guide him and teach him what is right and wrong and if he doesn't get this then he will be a huge hyper ball of crazy that knocks people over chews on every thing and barks like crazy you wont even be able to walk him because he will pull you down the street and that is never enjoyable oh yes honey why don't you get your arm pulled from the socket today I am busy! Then they end up not wanting to walk them any more or work with them at all soon you see the dog tied out to go and then you see him tied out all the time reasoning being he is to much for us and they will play with him for awhile but then even this stops and then the bathing and the feeding and one day you go out there and see this poor lonely dog that you only remember is because of is constant longing lonely barking (I know not every one who has a yard Dog dose this I have had one and loved him very much but it was not right that he was in the yard I was young and foolish) then one day the barking stops and they barley notice until they get a knock from the animal control with a report of a dead dog in there yard was that cute little puppy worth getting when all you did was take his life? All he wanted was your time and you give him nothing .

Then you have the people who get that "cute cuddly puppy not knowing they change a lot in looks as they age and get A lot Bigger and as soon as this starts happening they look at them and think yuck this isn't what I wanted I wanted a cute puppy so they try to give them away and if they can't they Take them for "a ride" or dump them at the pound. Then start the whole process over again with a "new" fluffy puppy that will get to big and not as "cute". I mean come on really people do research find out what these "cute" pups will look like when they are older find out how much they need to run find out how big they will be and how well they will train! If you want a cute cuddle dog that will stay small get a small breed but please watch them around kids little puppy's when they come home can weigh less then a pound (tea cup) I mean really can you see them around a 19 month old oops there gos The Puppy as he try's to carry it around and then drops it and that can kill them! I mean of course you shouldn't let them hold bigger puppy's either but they are less likely to get hurt when they play together.

No one should buy a puppy because they think they are cute and cuddly do research find whats right for you see if you have the resources to take care of this little life right a puppy racks up quit a vet bill in the first year if you don't think you can afford the bill don't get the pup until you can. We all have times when we are tight and don't have money for emergency (I just have) but that isn't what I am talking about if you can't afford shots and a license heart worm and flea meds and dewormed do not get a puppy if you can not afford to Feed your self don't get a puppy if you cant take care of the animals or children you have do Not get a puppy if you can not take time out of your day to walk them and groom them Don't get a puppy! DO Not ever buy a PUPPY thinking your child will take complete care of it and when they don't say well I'm not its not my dog! That is how people get dog poo all over there houses and a starving dog that is so bored it has no choice but to chew on every thing you own! Know that if you get a puppy for a children under 12 you will be doing 90% of the work!

I love my little guy but he took a lot of time and money to get and I really thought about getting a dog before I chose to. I think that dogs for Christmas and birthdays are the worse Idea ever do not give some one a living being for a present unless they are total prepared to accept and take care of them for the rest of there life's surprising some shocked unprepared person with something that breaths eats and has to be taken care of is not the smartest Idea in the world.

Well lol this went off in a different direction then I thought it would. I am just so sick of hearing the people behind my house little dogs bark every time I go out! I do not know what kind they are but they have little barks so I am assuming they are little dogs and there has to be at lest 4. I think they might keep the poor little things outside because I hear them all the time.

Any way I hope every one is well today!

Valentines I made for the Boys!!

I'm Back!

Well we are moved and I got a new computer and the net back on! Yay! Now the task of moving all the files from one computer to the other so I can give the old one to my mom that should be fun!I have been just settling and getting back into the routen of things around here. We got our taxes and got the boys bunk beds and bedding payed the rent up for 2 months and some bills and Also bought a new puppy who we named Max and he has quickly became a member of our family and we love him so much!Max is a beautiful Black Cocker Spaniel! He is a great part of our family and I treat him as my baby! Max sleeps with me follows me around and sits with me on the couch. Logan is such a handful!He still dose not sleep at night and he gets into every thing!We are adjusting well to life in our new home it is wonderful to finely have a place to call our own home again! We missed having family dinners and our children getting to play and run around when ever they wanted!We did a lot of work to make this home safe and clean! Carl did a great job painting and cleaning! I love him so so much!

We are mostly settled I got all of Sonya's things in the cabinet that Carl got me for my birthday. I love it so much it is great! I also put up all of our pictures and our wedding shelf. I love to have Sonya's stuff where people can see it. She means so much to me and it feels nice to have her stuff out so all can see and knows she matters and was here in this world though they never saw her!Some people act like I am crazy because I keep all these things for her and get more every time I find something that makes me think of My Sweet Sonya. How I miss her! She would have loved playing with Max and I would have loved watching her. I know that on the day I meet the Lord she will be there at his side or in his or grandmas arms waiting for me and I will scoop her up and never let her go she will be perfect and will never know pain or the cruelty of this world we live in and that I Thank God for! I just love her so so much! I do not expect others to understand but just do not say any thing if you can not be supportive Please just leave me be just let me love My Daughter!Then where do you turn when no one whats to listen and is sick of hearing about her?

I don't know where this life will led me or what Gods plan is for me but I do know that God has gotten me through it all and when I could no longer stand at his side as we walked her carried me in his arms until I could walk on my own again and when I fell he picked me up and stroked my hair and told me it will all be ok in the end and just to let his plan for me be laid out before me and when the time comes I will piece it together and see the true big picture the plain set out for me before I was born. I love My Lord more then any one could understand he is the one guiding light in my life the one who lead me to Carl and who trusted me to raise these Handsome little men I call my sons he is the source of all the good in my life and I praise him every day for this.Thank you God for giving me all you have in my life and for showing me there is so much more to this life then chasing money and you can be even more happy with out a lot of it then with all of the money in the world!!