I want to be normal and make every one happy I want to be a person that can conform into what people want of me I really do. It hurts to be Judged when you are only trying to do your best even if you know that best is not good Enough even in your mind were it is all or none prefect or Nothing. I like the person I am but try to change to fit what people think I should. I have asked even begged God to help me be Normal so I can have people who love me and want to be around me.
I say God Please Help me to be at better person knowing that every one else thinks badly of me even if I do not feel the same I would rather have the people I love Happy then make them miserably. I try hard to conform to every ones expectations for who I should be. I really really want to do what is best for my family. I want every one to love each other and be there for each other. I want to be the Mom I am and have no one tell me how horrible I am. I just want to be normal so so bad just so I could spend time with my sisters again I Miss them like crazy.I never hear any thing good about me from any one I sit here day in and day out with no one to really call a friend any more besides my Mom.
I cry all the time because all I want to be is Normal so they will Love me and want to be around me. I need them I Miss them.I am different always have been but I love my kids and would do anything for them. I am so scared of doing anything other proceed as wrong because of the talking behind my back. I just cry out to God Why?? The one thing in this life I want is to be able to have Good friends that I do not annoying. I can not be perfect but I try I really really do. I call out to God Please Make Me Normal.All I want is for every one to be happy. I am Not Perfect and Not Normal. My kids come first to me they are who I get up for every day and I will try my best to teach and Love them.