Wednesday, October 6, 2010

As I sit here in the hospital I miss my family and I miss holding my Logie! I just wish I was more certen about where we where going from here. It is hard to think of going home only to come back over and over again.My whole body hurts I just feel blah and think this is the best place for me to be right now. I hope they make the right choice and not only what is easiest!

We are at a hard time in our life we are behind in everything and I do not know if I will have lights or gas when I get home because we had no money to pay for them Hell we have no money to pay for our Home even our van is behind a payment no money for baby stuff we are just in need of help and have no one to com to our aid! Then we have to think about Christmas and all the money that will go into that and it is hard not to be very over whelmed more over whelmed then I have ever been and at the worst time! Please Lord just Help See Us Through This Please We Need You To Carry us!
I hate to feel like I am whining but I am just so scared about it all I want to cry all the time ans don't know what to do? I am so lonely! My Family can not come a visit me during the week because we do not have the money for gas so I am stuck here all week with out seeing any of them! I talk to them on the phone from time to time but I want to hold and kiss my baby's!! Why dose everything have to be so hard? I know there is a reason for all this and I will someday know it but It is just So hard when you are in the midst of it all to see.

I feel Lexie move inside me and feel such Joy I Love her so much and am so happy to have her. I was not prepared for her or any of the sickness and hard time that came with her but would not trade her for the world!I can not wait to hold this little girl in my arms and praise God for her! It is Just getting there that is the Hard Part Please Pray for Me That things get a little easier and that We find away to pay our Bills Thank you to who ever reads this and takes the time to Pray for Us!


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