Sunday, September 21, 2008


Before you have children you have no idea how they will really change you. How you could love such a small person so so much how it changes the way you think about life death and every thing between. You change how you live to work around this little person. Soon this little person becomes what you live for what you would give up every thing for some one you would die for. There aren't very many people in your life that you could love after they throw up poop and pee on you all at the same time but this little person you do no matter what.Your whole world is turned upside down the only thing you worrie about is your child the only reason you want to get ahead in life is to give your child what they deserve. There first smile giggle steps day of school is all you live for you wonder what will happen next! Things you never would think you would ever do you do stuff you never thought you would say comes out of your mouth. This little person loves you more then life its self you want to be there hero the one they look up to. As they grow you grow as they learn so do you. They will say they hate you but you will know its not true. Then they willl grow up and move away and you will miss them and want them back!
I was 17 when I had my first son Joey I cried wondering what the hell I thought I was doing I didn't want a baby! What would I do with him I was only 17 I knew I had to keep him safe while I was carring him but how would I keep him safe when we came out how would I learn how to deal with this little one? Then I almost lost him and I turly new how much I loved him how much I really wanted him! When he came into this world he was big bald and beautiful I Could not believe how much I truly loved this little person who smelled so bad! He was my every thing from that point on my reason for living! Then came Collin he scared me he wasn't breathing right i didn't get to hold him for 18 hours! Then he got sick when he was 3 months and I realized how quick I could lose them! You never know how much you need your children in till you realize they could be gone at any time. Then cam Bryan he was healthy happy and so cute! Then My baby girl Sonya Marie left me heart broken and empty If I didn't have my guys to live for I would have went in to a pit and never came out. Then my Little Logan he is so sweet I love him so very much he is my rainbow baby!
I could never imagen my life with out my children. Once you have little people all you care about is making them happy and raising the not to be assholes or fuckheads.
I want my children to have every thing the want and need I want them to be who ever they want and if that means not being able to see their eyes because they refuse to cut there hair so be it or if they want to watch a scary movie and eat candy for dinner once in awhile oh well!
I have really awesome kids they are all different and have things I love about them none of them are any thing alike and it amazes me that such different people all came from me! They all look different and act different and want different things in life.
What I do not understand is how some fuck heads and treat there kids like crap!? How they can not like the children because of who they are. I want my children to become who they want to be not who I want them to be why would I want them to be miserable to make me happy? I don't I want them to live life for me I want them to live life for them self's for there children and the people they love.
I want to be there for them not run there life's for them every one makes mistakes and they will some day to and they will learn and may need help but that's what parents do for their children. I cant wait in tell my baby's grow up and see the awesome joy in having there own kids if that's what they want but if they all decide they don't want children oh well they are enough for me.
I love my life my boys my husband I love every thing we have together and I wouldn't trade any of it for any thing or any one.
I don't know why I wrote this boredom I guess I hope you enjoyed it crappy spelling and all.

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