Tuesday, June 2, 2009

A Pink Blanket.

(The Baby in this picture is my son Logan.When he was in the hospital a 2 months.Thank you Logan for letting Mommy use your image in my post I love you so so much!!Oh and for letting me put pink on your blankie!)

I had a dream I have talked about before Here but wanted to wright about it again because it was so real so so real............It felt like it was really happening right there in that moment and when I woke up I wouldn't believe it wasn't real.............It felt so so real how can something feel so real and not be? It is the only dream I ever had of my daughter. I have begged for others but they have yet to come this is the only time I ever had a dream of her and no name was said but I knew this was My Baby My Daughter My Girl! Here's my Dream:
I told her it was ok to leave if she wasn't strong enough to fight any more I loved her and would be ok if she left. I fell asleep around 1 and had a dream that I haven't had before or since:I was rocking a baby in a pink blanket talking to her kissing her hugging her and singing and telling her how much i loved her. I thought she was hunger so I asked for a bottle the lady next to me said you cant feed her shes not yours you have to let her go now I said no I'm not ready to let go of her yet! The lady said to me But She Is so I gave her one last kiss and a hug told her how much I loved and would miss her and then in tears gave her to the lady she walked off in to the light with her.
I truly believe that that was my baby and god let me hold her before she left me.
It felt so real...................................so REAL How could it not be real!? I want my baby I want to rock her forever in that little pink blanket! If I could go back and live in that dream some times I think I would! How can this happen to my baby? I love her so so much!Life just gets me down some times and then I have to turn to God to lift me back up!
I know that Sonya is in a better place pain free and full of love and Joy being rocked by her Grandmother and read to by Jesus but in that moment that night she was all mine and I would give any thing just to sit with her again for a moment! I can not wait to go home and cry tears of Joy when I hold my baby again To see her face and smell her hair and know I will live with her forever to rap my arms lovingly around my little girl and tell her how very much I love her and have missed her.......................I can not wait and yet I will because its not yet my time to see my Daughter to go home yet. I have to stay here and lovingly take care of my Boys but until we met again My Sweet Girl I will Miss you to the Ends of the Earth and Back and Love you like no one else. I Love You My Sweet Sweet Sonya Marie and know you are waiting for me to come home and dance with you!


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